anyone interested in an online TESOL course?

Heard "Pandora's Box" by the O.C. Supertones on the radio this morning. Total throwback, loves ittt <3 http://ping.fm/mQIMt

making ginger tea

Here comes the rain again... http://ping.fm/klf6Y & Storm to Pass http://ping.fm/QLP3P

Now ye hear of endless bliss. Joy! Joy! Jesus Christ was born for this. He hath opened the heavenly door. And man is blessed evermore. Christ was born for this!!
{{ nitey }}

The hope of God & the Light of the world has come! Happy Christmas!!! John 8:12 http://tinyurl.com/2az5pwr

"[Jesus] will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David; and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end." Luke 1:32-33

We're here only for a second and then we're gone when we least expect it so do more than survive. Let's live like we're alive! http://ping.fm/WDQsa

Since their new album is out today, the song of the week is Day's End by Ivoryline: http://ping.fm/FpcOx

Revelation 21:1-8 -- Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband; and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling of God is with men. He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away." And he who sat upon the throne said, "Behold I make all things new." Also he said, "Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true." And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the fountain of the water of life without payment. He who conquers shall have this heritage, and I will be his God and he shall be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted, as for murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their lot shall be in the lake that burns with fire and sulphur, which is the second death."

Music Tuesday #5

Song of the week: The Jig Is Up by Edison Glass
Listen to it and see lyrics on Yahoo! Which has it on Rhapsody....
Correct lyrics here.

I've asked with the right intent and bright eyes
But what I can't seem to figure out is how and why
And I can't seem to handle it

Sometimes I feel like I've been praying diligently with the right motives and with hope yet I still don't understand what God is up to, or understand how God will come through on this thing that just seems so huge. But you just have to stay faithful and not doubt. God will answer in His time...not ours

I'll wait for Your words, I'll trust You'll say

...because God is so much bigger than I can even fathom:

Your eyes see further than mine
I can see as far as the sun and the moon in the sky

I can see the sun and the moon, God can see the whole universe. God can see the future.

I was reading 1 Samuel chapter 1 in verse 10 it says, "[Hannah], greatly distressed, prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly." She was being ridiculed by her husband's other wife for being not being able to have children and this burdened her heart so much that she prayed with passion to the Lord & made Him a vow. Later, God remembered her when she prayed and answered.

I think I need to be more diligent in bringing the burdens of my heart to God. Nothing is too big for Him!!

Music "Tuesday" #4

This week's song:

Burn Out Brighter (Northern Lights) by Anberlin

Listen here. Or youtube it.
Lyrics here.

Focus for me is here:
All I know spins out of control.
Wonder what's next for heart and soul.
Nothing I have can save me now.
Here in what maybe my final hour.

It's my time, cannot survive.
I made mistakes in the past.
Need a chance; can't say goodbye.
Wish I could set things right tonight.

Live; I wanna live inspired.
Die; I wanna die for something higher than myself.
Live and die for anyone else.
The more I live I see, this life's not about me.

I don't feel like I need to do that much explaining on what those lyrics mean. The reason it's song of the week is that one of my friends basically asked me what I want to do with my life. Well, it was more like, I know you want to do museum curating, but have you thought about ... As I started to think about the complicated answer to that, I thought of this song. "Live; I wanna live inspired" and later it says, "Live; I wanna live on fire" which I assume means on fire for God. That pretty much sums up what I desire for my life and I don't know exactly what it is, career-wise, that will demonstrate that. I know I was made for more than just working for a paycheck. I really want to love whatever I do and have it be glorifying to God. ...and travel :)

Music Tuesday (or so...) hahaha

I half wrote my music tuesday entry when another song totally hit me hard in a different way than it had before...so I changed it up to uh, music Thursday...

Song:  Of Men and Angels by The Rocket Summer

Lyrics: I submitted corrections to LyricsMania so at least one site has them...

Listen on Myspace.

First, I would just listen to this and let it sink in.  It took hearing it for over a month before it spoke to me in the way it did.  I don't wholly relate to the theme I find in this song about someone who works really hard to get ahead in their life because the world dictates what success is: money, status, stuff.  And God wants you to live for him, not yourself and all the stuff and power you gain is really not that important when you're starved for God's love.  You may hear God telling you this isn't how He wants your life to be, but you ignore him....but then eventually surrender happens because you realize working for "the man" isn't as fulfilling as you thought it would be.  Where this song spoke to me was near the end where it says:

Hard earned pay or

Hard earned pain

right now they're just the same

What's the use?  

Why work so hard when it's not what you crave?

when what you need is Love

I keep working jobs that basically suck and have nothing to do with the goals I have for my life but I feel like I need to just keep on keeping on because I need to pay bills and I don't see any other way to survive.  In no way am I tasting hints of fame/worldly success in my workplace but I feel so completely unhappy in what I'm doing that I think either this is one horrible test of patience or I am doubting that God has something better for me.  Do you sense my lack of faith in just saying that?  It took me a bit of time to realize I truly am doubting that God has bigger plans for me and will take care of me.  God promises, in Philippians 4:19, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

And there's this line in verse 2 that goes, "How can I go with mine instead of Yours when Yours is always right? I'm sorry, just pour into me..."

In the grand scheme of things I've been going with mine.  My only plan so far, really, has been San Diego.  I will do what I can just to be here.  In this economy where you take what you can get, it sounds crazy to leave a job based on discontent.  You're one of the lucky ones that's actually getting paid these days.  I'm really tired of working just for a paycheck when I know where I want to go with my life, the ever elusive job that you'd do for free (if money were no object).  My vision get clouded with what I want and I don't just forget to listen to God, but maybe I just don't want to listen.  I'm afraid of what He might say. I just need to trust that He has plans for my life that are bigger than I can see, and beyond what I feel I need to do to survive in this world.

 

It's over quoted, but let's not forget the truth in Jeremiah 29:11-13, " For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Next step: pray.

must love my 19 year olds

Chadwick

and its better to go younger than older

old men are boring

12:10amMeself

whattttt

12:10amChadwick

young men are fun

Just died laughing...loved itttt.

Agree to disagree ;)  but I agree?  

oh bother.

R E S T

This past week I was convicted about how I haven't been taking a Sabbath day...like, at all. I was going non-stop everyday (and totally not sleeping to boot) since Good Friday: Work, service, movie night. Girls breakfast, hella necessary nap, serivice, birthday party. Breakfast, outreach, Easter service. Drive, lunch [not] date, drive, !deation, hang out. More !deation, hang out, drive back at midnight. Work, fitting for Friday's show, small group. Work, cafe set up, cafe and more hanging out...On Thursday I was like, man, I am exhausted...and I still have more stuff coming up!! I was creeping on my friend's facebook page and saw a status update that said, "Great Saturday: A Day of Rest (So, I'm gonna watch the NCAA Final Four :)" Oh, hey, a day of rest?? Fancy that. When's the last time I actually did that?? After the Jedidiah fashion show event on Friday I was hanging out with my homies and decided to nix my weekend plans (at least the ones that required waking up early) for some much needed rest. I got home after 2am & took 2 hours to get ready for bed since I decided almost falling asleep in a hot tub of water was a good idea.... Actually, it was though, I was relaxed. I slept in til two!! I totally skipped the half day of volunteering that started at 8am. You can't just give and give and pour out without taking the time to reflect back on God. "Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10. Relax, let go, and know that God is in control. I mean, even He rested...

Ideation Conference, Long Beach, CA

I know I totally skipped Music Tuesday BUT I had the most amazing past 5 days.  Not only was it Easter weekend where I got to celebrate the fact that my Savior is risen and ALIVE!! but I basically gave myself a 4 day weekend chock full with awesomeness.  

I had the privilege of attending the first !deation Conference  that gathered  a people that worked for all types of non-profits in all different stages of their business life cycles & gave a platform to share ideas, gain insights and network to be better equipped to move forward with their causes.  I didn't attend any sessions the first day since I wasn't really there and I was busy with fashion show prep, but the second day I saw in on workshops and whiteboard sessions that were incredibly insightful, even for someone like me that wasn't representing any organization in particular.  It was so amazing being around people that cared so much for humanity and wanted to make positive changes in the world.  So inspiring!  I wasn't [well] informed about many of the groups that were there, but there were a couple that sparked my interest.  I noticed that the guys from Love146 were there and I had heard of them through my friend's Connected Cultures Clothing company who had shirts that donate a portion to their cause, and also one of my top 10 favorite bands, Edison Glass, who had the logo in their CD jacket...so I decided I must meet them.  I actually didn't know much about the company except for that they worked against human trafficking.  I waltzed on up to them not really knowing what to say, but just that I had heard of them and wanted to know more.  They gave me a pamphlet with all the info that's basically on their website and we just chatted.  I also mentioned how much I loved Edison Glass and found out that a parent of one of the guys is part of their organization.  I happened to be wearing my Toms that I wrote Edison Glass lyrics on and they were quite entertained by it--what a small world!  After I read through the pamphlet though, my heart totally broke.   They had a powerful story (go read it!) and an amazing cause.  I realize that many or those organization have stories as heart breaking as this.  There are so so so many ways that this world is broken.  I know that your heart can break for a lot of causes but you just can't help everyone yourself.  It took me a while to realize that there is only so much one person can do since you just can't care about everything, but find the things that you really do have a heart for and do what you can to make a contribution.  I feel that there are so many ways my heart is stretched and I can't focus on all of them!  It's kind of crazy.  But, right now, I'm so encouraged that people really want to make a difference the right way, I'm so excited to see what will happen with the organizations whose stories I heard, and I'm inspired to be used to make lives better.

Music Tuesday #2

Song of the Week: Common Code by Staggerford.
You can listen to it on myspace. (Everywhere else=only song clip!)
Lyrics not on the interwebs so I did my best to listen. First verse + chorus:

"Love Love Love is all we ever talk of.
Talk and talk is all we ever get done.
The more I tried to feel the more I felt pain.
I'm wondering if it's a worthy exchange.
Who knew that there is never anything to gain,
Lest you might end up feeling it might not have been a fair trade.

Common Code says 'Love will never let you down'..."

At first I just wanted to touch on the first 2 lines of this song because that's what got me when I first heard it. It reminded me of how a lot of people "do" church. You go there on Sunday and talk about loving people. OK. And we talk about God and we talk about meeting people's needs and we talk about having vision....which is great, but putting all of that into action is even greater. But half the time it's really just left as a nice idea and the talking is all that is ever accomplished. Sad story, right? I was just going to exhort you/myself with 1 John 3:18 "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with deeds and in truth." because an outpouring of our love for Him = an outpouring of our love to others...and there you have it! BUT I think God just called me out to stretch my thinking cuz this song was playing in my head ALL DAY and it was just the first 2 lines. And now, when I listened through the song in it's entirety, in order to write about it, I felt I also must explore the next part which is probably why we talk about love but don't really do it as often or as well as we'd like.

We know it'll hurt when we really see the needs of others and let it burden our hearts. We realize it'll require the pain of personal sacrifice to try and meet the needs to others. We start to wonder if it will be worth it to carry out the things we talk of because, really, we'd rather just be in ignorant bliss... (lines 3&4) And then, you may decide that you're willing to do love and not just talk love and maybe you don't see any good come of it. You give and give and give and don't see a result. What if God's purpose is just that? To love and not get anything in return. He never promised we'd have riches and treasures on Earth from being obedient to Him, we may really just be gaining Christ's future glory, y'know, eternal treasure that you only get when you're dead. We just need to understand that that should be all the glory we need. (lines 4&5) But we tend to get selfish and want something in return for our efforts. Even if it's just our friend telling us we're awesome. We kinda feel gypped when we get nothing...get used to it.

Common code, like common thinking...everyone thinks love is constant, good and neverending... The Common Code I think of is the Bible and 1 Corinthians says, "Love never fails." And God is Love. God never fails. God's purose and plan always prevails and God always comes through. So we need to act on those things He's telling us to do.

It seems so simple.......

Disclaimer: As it is for all songs I write about, I haven't asked the band, or read anything pertaining to the meaning of this song. This is all me, so don't quote me on this interpretation, I'm just spilling out what's in my head.

Music Tuesday #1

Twitter does Music Monday, so I guess I'll do Music Tuesday

Song of the Week: The Difference by Philmont
You can listen to it on myspace, rhapsody or lala.
I was going to put a link to the lyrics, but no site had the correct ones so they're at the end on the entry :P (I'm picky).

You give the devil an inch and he'll take a mile...and then some. When I looked back over 2009, which in my mind was sooo awesome (mainly cuz I was 24, which is a great number) I realized it actually wasn't so great. Last year was difficult, and full of bad decisions that led me astray from a strong relationship with God. The separation just happened so subtley and gradually that I didn't really notice the change until I came to a point at the end of the year (when people do the usual life evaluation) and I just had to wonder, "How did I get here!?" Sure, I had some high points, like getting laid off from a job I hated & getting to go to Turkey, BUT concerning my walk with God, I wasn't in a very good place. My heart definitely needed to change! I couldn't remedy the bad decisions I made, but I could at least not make them again. The devil is tricky. He gets in your head. I rationalized dumb things I did & watered down my values and convictions as if I had never learned from any past mistakes at all. This song suddenly became epic--totally me! It says, "And I've tried so hard to mix the old life with the new. But there's not in between if I'm gonna follow You."
2 Corinthians 5:17 says "If we are in Christ we are a new creation..." and it's about time I started acting like one. Not just kind of like one sometimes, depending on the situatioin. "If You're really inside changing my life You would shine, You would be evident if there's a difference."
Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses around us, let us put aside the things that hinder us and the sin that entangles us and let us run with perseverance the race set before us."


Lyrics:
I check the map to make sure that I get it right
But still I don't know where You're taking me tonight
And I've tried so hard to mix the old life with the new
But there's not in between if I'm gonna follow You

There's gotta be a difference
It's gotta be significant
If You're really inside changing my life
You would shine, You would be evident
If there's a difference
There's a difference

Here I am, I've got this baggage by my side
But I am ready now to leave it all behind
So I'm taking this moment to tell You I'm open
I'm taking this moment to give You everything

We're not meant to be another face in the crowd

There's gotta be a difference
It's gotta be significant
'Cause You're really inside changing my life
And it's so evident that there's a difference
There's a difference

Songwriters: Glover, Ben; Prince, Josiah; Sams, Justin; Tuabe, Scott
The Difference lyrics © Up In The Mix Music

The MAN

God sometimes just picks the funniest times to talk to me.  I was in the middle of my very exciting workday when God was like, "So, Liko..." & I'm all, "NOW?  really?" cuz, y'know, I'm typing up a storm over there... & He's like, "Yes, now, I've got you listening.  Write this down." So I'm writing down all this stuff about when I first got saved my senior year of high school.  The reason I'm bringing this up is because we were sharing testimonies at our worship and prayer night.  When I tell mine, I usually discount the part where I first got saved and focus on a later incident where God really performed a miracle in my life.  God wanted me to revisit why I ached in my heart for salvation in the first place.

Flashback to October of 2002, a rundown of the state of my life:  At that point I had been through my father's death 3 years prior which I had never really dealt with.  I had a rocky relationship with my mother filled with guilt, fighting, and misunderstanding.  In retrospect she was doing what she knew how to do dealing with everything she was going through, but her love for me didn't come out in the best ways.  I was a social butterfly but emotionally reclusive, hiding my deep pain and personal problems from everyone, even my best friends.  I was proud to figure out to dissect a razor cartridge so I could cut myself and I had a couple of years of an eating disorder under my belt.  Things could have been worse, but needless to say, I was a giant mess.  What I knew of love seemed to be temporal, conditional, or performance based, especially because no one really knew all the things inside of me, they couldn't ever really love me for me, the REAL me.  I felt that all those things made me pretty unlovable but perhaps my facade made me tolerable.  Oh, and to ice the cake, my first love and I had just broken up September 1st.  Fast forward to September 14th, I'm not sure what I did that night, but usually the drama with me and my mama went down like: I have a fun night, come home, do something rude or say something sassy and we end up in a drawn out verbal battle where I always lost.  And every single time I've had it "up to here" with how my life was going, but really couldn't see any way out.  So I'm in the bathroom dismantling my razor cartridge and I remember something I was looking at on the internet the other day.  I'm pretty sure it was a link to NeedHim.org I had clicked on explaining why we need Jesus and forgiveness and how to gain salvation.  I left the page up but I wasn't ready to really get into this thing with Jesus.  I felt a tug to go back and read it again and I was so far down at my bottom I figured there was no way I could do life by myself anymore.  It's too difficult.  

I didn't know in advance God would stop the cutting or later miraculously heal my bulimia with one prayer or any of the other things He would change,  but at that moment I just wanted to know what real Love was.  Most people make another person the god in their life, expecting them to fill what's missing in their lives and cure that longing to be loved even though that's a lot of expectation on imperfect human beings.  So far, no person in my life could provide that for me and I so wanted to believe that someone could love me forever, unconditionally, no matter what I had done or said or would ever do in the future...just love me.  Jesus, with His perfect Love and Grace, promises that AND delivers.